October 13, 2009

3. Initial reactions.

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:52 pm by dawnfields310

So the decision was made and the tv was not to be turned back on.   The first few hours I was strangely uncomfortable.  Then I felt violated, like something had been unjustly taken from me. Then I moved into pure fear.  What if this was the cause of a lot of my issues and I can’t keep it turned off?  What if it’s NOT the source and nothing will change, nothing will get better?

Then I moved into panic trying to figure how I was going to spend all this newfound time.  I quickly made an inventory:  how many unread books do I have, how much untouched paperwork in my office, how many friends do I have who don’t work so I call them anytime day or night?  Why am I so scared?  What is it that I’m afraid of? That somehow my life will be made WORSE by not watching tv?  That seems ludicrous, but I thought it nonetheless.

And I’ll be honest.  I’m more than a little scared.

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