October 16, 2009

17. Okay, here’s the thing….

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:25 pm by dawnfields310

Aside from my baby meltdown at the sandwich shop, I have been feeling amazing today.  I was recently hired to produce a short film for a guy I had interviewed for a documentary (long stories on all of that, I’m sure we’ll get to it).

We had a production meeting via the telephone today and it went really well. Got me pumped up.  It reminded me that I am smart and do have a lot to offer. One of the reasons I have been shutting myself off, self-destructing and hiding behind the bottle and the tv, is I’ve lost a great of confidence in myself.  The entertainment industry is known to chew you up and spit you out.  It’s fed on me for quite some time.

You have to have a very thick skin out here in LA and I’ve had a hard time building myself up.  So even though there is very little upfront money, I need this film project and I need to feel valuable again.  Staying focused and motivated has been one of my biggest challenges in the last few years.

That’s one of the biggest reasons this experiment is so important to me.  I have to stop getting distracted and focus, or I’ll never get out of the mess I’ve gotten myself into.  I will eventually tell you all about it, but there just might not be enough cyberspace to hold all the mistakes I’ve made.

Anyway, even though money is tight and there are some bills I need to pay, there is a production seminar tomorrow and I signed up for it.  It’s not that much money and I think it will do wonders to help me stay on the right track and finally get serious about the things I want in life.  It’s pretty basic and I probably know most of the material as I have been producing for years, but I always benefit in some way from these things, even if it’s networking.

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